Miyerkules, Disyembre 30, 2009

I’m welcoming my new year with a ‘goodbye’!

“The only true painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained… It’s better to let go without knowing their real reason, because it will surely hurt more if you find it unreasonable.”

 It’s the first day of TwentyTen and everyone wants a grab of positive vibes.  Round fruits overcrowd the fruit baskets in most of the dining tables… polka dots, an eyesore, seem to be common… merrymaking is ceaseless – beers and foodstuff are plenty here and there… coins are fling to draw good fortune as the new year comes in. It’s a perfect time to celebrate!

 Welcoming sad thoughts in new year is definitely downbeat and off the wall.

 Whew, I’m down – emotionally speaking. I am letting in all the positive feelings, but I can’t help myself to brood over an up-and-coming ‘loveless’ TwentyTen.

 Basking into gay emotional relationship is atypical even until these modern times. 99% of people find it debauched – they belong to the conservative moralists and/or devout spinsters. While a remaining 1% okays itthey are mostly the hopeless sycophants and self-absorbed ‘lovers’. I just don’t know where I am categorically including myself.

 It’s not fine to be gay and gloomy. These are not synonymous adjectives. Alas, I am…

 But if being gloomy would make me realize the gist of being gay, I’ll try to be up and unflinchingly take the risks head on!

 Nothing remains constant. All things change. Everyone does! Perhaps I just have to accept whatever fate offers me to embrace.

 I’m living, loving and definitely not giving in.

 [I love you Goodbye, showing na po sa mga cinema houses!]


 Hereunder are a few quotes sent it by my favorite friends. I’m trying to grasp the gist of letting go amidst pain from these.

 “It’s hard to let go of the memories you’ve shared with someone… when you remember the tears, you’ll laugh but when you remember the laughs, you’ll cry…”

John Ireed [December 9, 2009; 14:19]

“I hate the feeling of missing people I’ve lost along the way. But yet I’m not hoping they’ll return again… because I know one day I’ll accept the fact that not all things are meant to stay with you.” 

Mam Julie [November 28, 2009; 19:45]

“Maybe the reason why you have to stop loving a person is because God chose both of you to be friends, where forever is a lot more possible.”

Tope [October 31, 2009;18:24]

“If it takes great courage to stand and fight for something, sometimes it takes even greater courage to just walk way and leave things behind.”

Sheena [September 15, 2009; 22:54]

“If people can’t let go of you, it doesn’t mean they love you… Sometimes they can’t let you go because they know you’re always there when they want you…”

John Ireed [July 16, 2009; 20:03]

“The only true painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained… It’s better to let go without knowing their real reason, because it will surely hurt more if you find it unreasonable.”

Mam Julie [July 10, 2009; 21:42]

“Don’t attach yourself to anything that needs to go. Everything in this world is not permanent. You just have to love it while you have it.”

Mam Julie [May 7, 2009; 17:48]

“When God gives you one important thing in life never hold it too tight… so when He asks you to give it back, it’s easy to let go without hurting so bad…”

Tita Jonalyn [March 17, 2009; 06:34]

“Letting other things happen doesn’t mean you give up… it’s simply knowing that beyond risking, sometimes it falls perfectly after waiting…”

Michael [March 10, 2009;11:31]

“If ever you feel God is taking away something from your hand… don’t get sad. He is only emptying your hand so you can receive something better…”

Michael [March 04, 2009;10:12]

“It’s never nice when you forget things you’re supposed to remember… But it feels worse when you remember things you’re suppose to forget…”

Nini [February 18, 2009; 23:10]

“The sand thought me one thing:

You can’t hold too many things, no matter what you do to make them stay, and no matter how much they want to stay, the wind will always blow them away. So learn to let go and choose carefully which you want to stay, because like the sand, only those which are in the center of our palm will last!”

Sir Ben [December 28, 2008; 14:33]

“When God takes something away from your grasp, He’s not punishing you but merely emptying your hands for you to receive something better.”

Mam Hilda [November 07, 2008; 20:13]

“Pretending not to be hurt is a brave thing to do… But you know what? Crying is braver. Why? Coz not everyone can accept the fact that… Not all things are meant for you.”

Lany [September 13, 2008; 14:33]

 Please feel free to post more meaningful quotes on the art of letting go. It would be encouraging.


Martes, Disyembre 29, 2009

Have a radiant TwentyTen!

Two Thousand and Nine had been such a multihued year for many of us.

Through the entire year we have seen how sundry of shades enshroud us. Most of them were so vivid that we can hardly put them into oblivion. Others seem to muddle up with the vicious nightmare we’d never dare to scoff at [unless we’re wacky enough to find the good in the not-so-bad episode of our lives].

2009 has brought us, indeed, with a lot of reasons to celebrate life no matter how tough the year has become.

Some stories portrayed a dull picture of black and blue to our lives. Topping the very long list are the nonsense overspending of PGMA’s party in New York for a one-time meal amounting to $ 20,000 [the same amount can at least alleviate the starving of thousands of impoverished Filipinos], the scandals our celebrities have made [who can overlook the media mileage a hot actress turned women’s right advocate and an aesthetic (former) doctor turned underground movie producer/director/actor received as the latter tried to promote voyeurism], the shocking death toll plus the P 11Billion worth of damages typhoon Ondoy and Pepeng have caused… and worst of all, the exceedingly atrocious Ampatuan Carnage [which brought permanent stain to our country’s democratic identity].

Locally, we are not spared from the same plight. On May 2, 2009, Typhoon Dante, perhaps the most stationary tropical depression that visited the region, claimed 18 lives of our fellow Magalleños in Barangay Hubo.

Other stories become fountain source of hope and joy, inspiring us to believe that life is a multicolored wonder!

Success was never elusive to some [if not to many] of us. Boxing champ Manny Pacquiao bagged seven major world titles. International singing sensation Charice Pempengco opened opportunities for Filipino talents abroad. The natural underground river in Palawan bested other world best tourist spotThe passing of former President Corazon Aquino restrengthened Filipino spirit amidst the loss. The altruistic street mentor, Efren Peñaflorida was honored as the 2009 CNN Hero – recognizing the ingenuity of Filipinos in combating illiteracy.

Most of all… amidst loss and tragedy, we are moved by countless stories of heroism and volunteerism shown by many of our kababayans in times of mishaps.

Life is not solely highlighted with hues of black and blue… Sometimes when we least expect it, an array of dazzling colors comes to light to fill us with bliss and optimism.

TwentyTen is but a few sleeps away. Whatever colors this new year may give us, I wish you all a happier, healthier and more colorful life…

Vive bene, spesso l’amore, di risata molto. – Live well, love much, laugh often! God bless us all.


“Far away now in the mountains...a photograph guards the memory of a man. The photograph is all alone out there. The snow is falling eighteen years after his death. It covers up the door.”
Richard Brautigan (1935? - 1984) U.S. novelist and poet.

This album contains most [but not all] of my favourite pics for the year 2009. Moments are indeed worth treasuring! May we all have happier moments this TwentyTen…
Vive bene, spesso l’amore, di risata molto. – Live well, love much, laugh often! Happy New Year!

Martes, Nobyembre 24, 2009



While we Filipinos are in the state of euphoria after the victorious battle brought in for the country by People’s Champ Manny Pacquiao and the heartwarming international recognition as 2009 CNN Hero awarded to the altruistic street mentor, Efren Peñaflorida, it is outrageous to realize that election-related incident in our country has gone extremely dreadful.

What has transpired in Ampatuan, Maguindanao last November 23, 2009 is a shocking revelation that political mayhem precedes no positive impact especially when political power falls into the hands of voracious autocrat. [I might sound finger-pointing people with this note yet asking the obvious would be ridiculous… Who else could have the motive to have the carnage done?]

What made the culprits do the gruesome acts? How far does money influence these coldblooded criminals? I dare not knowing the answer for the callused tracks will only and certainly converge into a single point – AVARICIOUSNESS! Mga ganid sa kapangyarihan at sandamakmak na palalo ang may pasimuno at kagagawan ng kahayupang ito!

It is painful to know that, while many of our OFWs painstakingly offer their lives just as many of our kababayans here in the country struggle to protect and promote our integrity and identity as a great nation, the politically –motivated bloodbath in Maguindanao is dragging our reputation down. Kawawa naman po ang maraming mga Pilipinong nagsusumikap na magpunyagi upang magbigay karangalan sa bansa... Ang ating pagkakakilanlan bilang isang magiting na lahi ay nadudungisan dahil sa mga kaganapang ito.

No matter how isolated the case may be, as others would try to see it, this would further create damage to our country’s moral fiber if unheeded by the proper authorities.

Political alliances should be set aside so as not to impede impartial inquiry about this ineffably grisly incident and that justice may be served in the soonest possible time. Sana naman maliban sa pagbababa ng State of Emergency sa Maguindanao ay mayroon pang mas makabuluhang aksyon na isinasakatuparan ang ating pamahalaan. Bagamat ang pagbubuo ng special task-force na mag-iimbestiga sa napakalagim na trahedya ay isa sa maraming mga hakbang na maaring gawin, nawa’y hindi maging bulag-bulagan ang mga kinauukulan sa tunay na motibo at kahihinatnan ng mga pangyayari nito.

We sympathize with the innocent victims and their families. Our hearts go out for them… We share with the bereavement of our brothers and sisters in Mindanao… Nakikiramay po ang buong Pilipinas sa nakapanlulumong bahaging ito ng ating kasaysayan.

We also fear for them. Kawawa naman po ang mga kapatid nating nangangarap ng isang maunlad at mapayapang Mindanao… ng isang mapagkalingang Pilipinas!

We also commiserate with the gallant journalists whose lives were not spared either. Sa muli pinapatunayan natin na ang ating bansa ay lubhang mapanganib para sa mga mamahayag. I don’t have any doubts that next to Iraq, as the US government declared it, the Philippines offer no haven for journalists and media practitioners…

It’s not surprising, after all… As of 1986, the death toll among the journalists raised to 104 according to Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ). 67 cases (the number excludes the recent massacre victims) were reported within the tenure of Mrs. Arroyo as the country’s chief executive.

Amidst these atrocities, let us be UNITED as a people! Totoong nakakapanindig balahibo ang mga kaganapang ito at nagsisilbing dagok sa ating pagkaPilipino. Subalit nawa’y hindi ito magbigay daan sa ating pananahimik at pagpapahintulot na mabusalan ang katarungan.

Let no selfish political ambition enshroud us with fear and prejudice. LET US CONDEMN POLITICAL KILLINGS…

The duty to safeguard our rights does not only lie on the hands of the Philippine Commission on Human Rights. (Indeed Chairperson Leila De Lima and her staff have tough job to do; let’s wish them courage!) Maging tayo man ay dapat manindigan sa pagtataguyod ng karapatan ng bawat isa sa atin. Wala sanang punyal, bala, bomba, o maging salapi ang makakapagpatahimik sa atin upang tuluyan nating talikuran ang paglingap sa ating mga karapatan!

Let’s all pray for a safer Mindanao and a better Philippines! There is still hope for us Filipinos and the generations to come…

God bless our Philippines.

Sabado, Setyembre 5, 2009

July 25 pics

Twenty Five and Counting...


Celebrating a birthday and watching a sunset on the last day of the year bring me the same feeling… poignancy - and plenty of it.

I just don’t know why. A part of me is celebrating while the other one worries…

I can’t help but look back on the wonderful days that have gone by and smile… and eagerly look forward to what shall unfold. The road ahead seems to be more exciting and I can’t wait to be there. Apprehensions never dwindle, of course, but they never seem to overshadow me. I want to enjoy life to the fullest and have lots of it!

The road I have traveled on was never too easy. Rough roads made my journey more arduous just as the dusty winds and the recurrent heavy rains exacerbated the toil.

Several times I opted to take a comforting rest by the side of the road and took a quiet glance on the rocks that never tire to push my callused feet. There were plenty of them. Some were too small… Others were hefty and have almost blocked my way. Many times I recall, I had to take a nerve-racking and dehydrating climb just to push my way up. I had no choice… I just knew in my mind that I should go forward and must not draw back… and so I did.

I’m twenty five. Perhaps, I’m already on the halfway of my journey or on the last few laps of my track.

I just don’t know when will I see the checkered flag fluttering so blissfully as it says ‘you’ve finished the trail… you can have your rest.’ I don’t care how long the journey may take me to finally come to a victorious halt or worse a daunting flop. Neither do I overworry about how enduring the obstacles may put me to a test.

I simply want to have a fun stroll and have a grasp of fresh air and warm sun along the way.

I want to count the restless butterflies that paint the footpaths with vivid shades… I want to hear the green leaves hum with the cool gust of gentle winds… I am curious how the hatchling on the nest embraced by the sturdy narra trunks begin to crack its shell and have a welcoming sight of the world outside… I hope I could climb and see for myself how its mother bird feed her with a wiggling maggot… I want to lie on and be embraced by the lush lawn as I take a gaze on the cotton-like clouds shaping the figures of almost everything from rabbits, dogs, horse, an abstract cartoon and fairy tale characters to coffin and witches, etc…

I want to explore the crossroads and try the winding roads less traveled by… I simply want to enjoy life and never miss its unstinted wonders.

I hope I’d have a nicer trip on the roads ahead.

[Know twenty five things about me… click on this link to view the blog entitled Five and Five]

July 24 Pics



I’ve just turned twenty five… and I can’t help myself listing down twenty five stuff about me.

Part One. Just Counting my Blessings….

In no particular preference, I dare to bear the greatest assets I have [and hope not to be sued by the BIR people for not including these in my SAL.

1. Mom is the best!

Ma is the number one woman in my life. She’s an all-time friend and a fine confidant. As a full-fledge mother who sacrificed her career as a midwife to attend to our needs as our 24/7 mom, I am indeed indebted to be blessed by a great person like her. I love the uniqueness and the strength of her character. I love her not only because she takes care of everything in the household from the duster s to the window curtains, not also because she’s a pro in minding the kitchen stuff [although I don’t like her cooking sometimes] to the garden thing.

She’s indeed a one-in-a-million Mama. Her fidgeting gestures whenever stressed and busy and her frowning brow when baffled almost peeve me.

Yet, I admire her for her optimism and hard work. She’s our number one encourager and our ultimate fan, too.

But of all her virtues, I am inspired the most by her simplicity and altruism.

2. My best man!

The past year was never too uncomplicated for Pa and I. We’ve had petty discord over family matters especially when it comes to exhausting our measly finances to exploit our budget line and hopefully allot a share for not so important expenses.

Yet, he remains to be one of the most influential characters I admire just like Ma. He’s a hardworking guy.

He’s duty as the local chieftain [barangay chairman] made me admire him more. He may not be a very prolific head when it comes to creating tangible projects such as building the barangay site or / and basketball court for the youth or even rehabilitating the typhoon-damaged welcome marker due to his lack of political will and spiteful grassroots level politics I still consider him the best in other fields.

He has good interpersonal affairs with almost everyone though he is very straightforward in conveying his personal views especially against his self-centered and idle colleagues in the barangay council.

Sometimes I hate him for being too generous, bailing out other people from their financial problems at his own expense. Jokingly I told him, he should have worked at the office of the social welfare and development.

3. Cuddling Siblings

My younger sis’s and bro’s are indeed one of my greatest blessings. They’re causing me headaches most of the times because of their nonsense and childish tantrums and their occasional sluggishness but they’re a bunch of characters you just can’t ignore. They’re very promising and ambitious.

It is because of them that I never give up in almost every trial…

Thanks God, I’m ahead of their trail. I have the chance to eagerly muster every pebbles and prickles along the road so they would have a more relaxing walk. I hope and pray the best for them.

4. Friendships and strings…

Friends have become my saving grace for the past years. Always on the rescue whenever I’m about to have my emotional collapse and/or financial dehydration, my friends never cease to offer me a reassuring company.

The simple ‘how are you?’ sms from Rachel is touching. The unexpected ‘I miss you and I love you sis’ the from Edz as I bustle in the day’s work is really uplifting. Lanie’s constant reminder as she text “ok lang yan” or “smile, smile” as I worry over many things is comforting. Nini’s constant sms greetings are simply inspiring.

“Come na, Mauragerger kita!” seems to be very meaningful when Manay Ritz or/and Tekla sensed that something is bothering me.

“Sure, para kaan” are just the right words I wish to hear whenever I needed a rescue. I was glad I have my angels to save me… and I just can’t name them one by one for they are too many.

5. Bread and Butter matters!

If there is one very important thing I’d miss including in this list of blessings, it would be my job.

Being a mentor brings me a lot of prized riches incomparable to the figures that appear on my payslip come every end of the month.

I have had a share of optimism, youthful vibrancy, colorful dreams and visions and lots of smiles and laughter from my students who at the same time offered me to have a glimpse of pain and disappointment… and dispiriting frustration.

My workmates and head are all equally motivating and lenient to my personal and professional idiosyncrasies (which are many). I just simply cannot fail to underscore how we work and enjoy each other’s company not just for the sake of promoting professional camaraderie. We are like a family, and I’m very thankful for that!

Part Two. Revisiting my Goals

During my college, Prof. Teresita Aninipot congratulated me on coming up with a very impressive and excellent career book. The project was indeed very nice and worthwhile.

The Gift, [the book’s title] has nine chapters which individually enumerate personal information such as my peak experiences, life’s achievements, hopes and fears, career line, life career plan, etc.

One of my most favorite parts was on the seventh chapter, below is an excerpt of the contents in page 7.5:

Year My Age Expected Significant Events / Plans

2004 19 & 7 months College graduation

20 Passing LET

2005 21 Private Secondary School Teacher

2008 24 Public Secondary School Teacher

2009 25 Graduate of a Master’s Degree

2011 – 2065 (if God permits) * detailed list is on the book.

Comments on the Life Career Plan shown above.

1. I took and passed the LET on 2005. I was unable to take the exam on August 2004 due to erroneous copy of birth certificate I just found out lately after securing a NSO copy.

2. I never had the chance to be a private secondary school teacher though I wanted to first teach in my alma mater, the Carrascal Memorial Academy, after my graduation in college. I was immediately hired as a Locally Funded Teacher by Ms. Annabelle M. Nace – then the Teacher – In – Charge of Bagatao National High School.

After two years (SY 2004-2005 & SY 2005 – 2006), I almost had the chance to teach in CMA when I was no longer accommodated in San Isidro National High School (San Isidro, Bacon District, Sorsogon City) since the ranking / hiring procedures were done. I already met with the school head, Mrs. Delia Cruz before the classes begin and was about to be sent for a live-in seminar in Ateneo de Naga University.

Incidentally, Ms. Maritess C. Berdandino phoned me to serve as a substitute teacher in lieu of Mrs. Marlyn V. Vergara who was on her maternity leave and another two-month vacation leave.

3. I served my first and second quarter of the school year (SY 2006 – 2007) as a substitute teacher in Magallanes National High School. I willingly waived a permanent item on October in favor of a former teacher and now a good friend. Luckily I became a permanent DepEd teacher in February 12, 2007 in Juban National High School with Mrs. Benita Cielo as my first principal. I was blessed to receive the first science item in that school… thanks to Dr. Lorna Dig – Dino, then the Schools Division Superintendent.

I was reassigned to BagataoNHS through the swapping agreement Ms. Jennifer Dugan and I signed on February 2007. The deployment/swapping took effect after the election ban was lifted on June 2007.

4. It is already 2009. My ambition of receiving a diploma for a master’s degree is obviously not doable. I have not even started taking any units for that purpose. Yet, I’ve fortunately received a scholarship program for a certificate in teaching Social Studies in Bicol University for two summers beginning last year. I successfully completed the course this year.

On my twenty-fifth birthday, with boldness and strengthened positivism, I reset my goals and look forward for the coming years,

1. I’m committing to finance and support the college education of my three sisters and two brothers no matter how financially challenging it may cost. They deserve a better future. Enrolling them into college and helping them land stable jobs would be my greatest gift for them.

2. I yearn to enroll in and eventually finish a post-graduate study. I am considering for a Masters in Chemistry Education or/and Social Studies.

3. I consider transferring from high school to college. I love teaching…

In one of the seminars I’ve attended, one of the resource speakers told us that at the age of forty, we should have found our second profession. I opt not to leave the teaching profession. I always believe that this is the most rewarding job I imagine myself to be in.

Given the chance to have a second job, I wish I could be a college professor. I’ll work hard for the realization of this goal…

4. I want to save and/or apply for a loan to purchase a house and lot for the family. Beginning when I was young until now we’ve been living bilocal, transferring from our granny’s home in Magallanes and into the family house in Bacon District. The ‘security of tenure’ bothers me.

5. Of all these goals, I consider the fifth one as the most important: I should stay healthy!

I am always prone to respiratory illness… I have had a bronchopneumonia when I was an infant and was rushed almost regularly in the hospital because of this. Skipping a lunch or taking a meal late brings me health troubles… headaches and month-long dry coughs are the most common aftermath.

My friends suggest that I’ll take vitamins and health supplements. Ma says I should live a stress-free lifestyle or at least learn to manage them if they seem inevitable. I’ll try to consider their advice this time.

Part Three. Rediscovering Me

Enhancing self-concept is very significant. This gives way to knowing more our potentials and understanding ourselves better.

As I come up with this five and five list, in all humility and honest-to-goodness attempt I enumerate the following characteristics as my best traits.

1. I’m an ebullient creature!

I’m a live wire and would strain to mingle with boring people though I’m not a party animal. I enjoy the company of everyone and I can’t afford to squander too much time for melancholy and desperation. If somebody is in pain and suffers a loss we should of course empathize with him/her but it must not end there. It should always be our duty to inspire people… We have to unwrap for them the giftness of life they may fail to notice.
2. I’m prone to burn the candle at both ends…

I can work too hard and round the clock. I can spend a sleepless evening in favor of an assignment I had to rush… I can even devote my weekends for an extra chore. I can read all the messages in my three e-mail accounts in just a sitting. I love to be busy… [read more]


The First Twenty-Five Individuals who greeted me on via sms the day of my birthday:

1. Mama
2. Caren
3. Sis Julie
4. Sis Baby Jo
5. Marissa
6. Mam Joan
7. Mama Badang
8. Mam Cho
9. Maribel
10. Sis Malou
11. Mam Liezl
12. Aliza
13. Dahlia
14. Angelica
15. Nini
16. Miam
17. Ali
18. Lanie
19. Rhan
20. Mam Tintin
21. Lira
22. Erwin
23. Mam Melissa
24. Manay Rita
25. Jolly Ann

Sabado, Agosto 15, 2009